Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy: Couples Counseling and Marriage Counseling
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has been used as an effective technique in working with couples. Couples often seek out psychotherapy, particularly CBT, when there are problems with communication, sex life and/or trust. Cognitive behavioral therapists work on each partner's cognitive distortions about themselves or the other partner. One common distortion is the thought that if one partner doesn't do something the specific way the other wants, it means the partner doesn't care about him or her. The therapist helps the partner identify this thought as illogical and modify it to be more reality-based.
Couple Communication Skills
Therapists often emphasize communication as a target goal in couples therapy. Effective communication involves speaking to each other while not overly aroused or angry, to clearly communicate an issue. Assertiveness training is a common technique, teaching the client to request something without aggression or exaggerated language, using “I” statements about feelings (e.g., “When you don't pick up your dirty socks, I feel annoyed… I'd appreciate it if you picked them up and put them in the hamper… How can we work this out together?”). Assertiveness training emphasizes that an individual has a right to request something and the other individual has the right to deny; the therapist helps the client accept that he may not get the change he wanted and cope with this.
Behavioral Contracts
Cognitive behavioral therapists may also work with couples in setting up behavioral contracts, agreements in which each party agrees to do certain things (e.g., completing certain household chores at a certain time), sometimes with a reward system.
Sexual Problems
Sexual issues may also be addressed as part of cognitive behavioral couples therapy. One technique is sensate focus, in which couples gradually and slowly engage in sexual touch week by week without the goal of orgasm, taking the pressure off the sexual experience.
Jealousy and Trust Issues
Cognitive behavioral therapists may also address trust issues in a relationship. Jealousy is quite common and may be addressed using cognitive behavioral techniques such as examining each partner's thoughts about the other. Infidelity may also be addressed in sessions.
For an updated, more in-depth look at this topic, see All You Need to Know About Couples Therapy.